Name: Sally
Due Date: June 15, 2008
Expecting: A Girl!
(As written by Sally’s husband, Rusty)
We found out Sally was pregnant just as we were about to meet up with some friends from school for dinner. We window shopped for some shoes for our two children and then walked to the restaurant. On the way, we spotted a grocery store in the strip mall. On a whim, Sally decided to grab a pregnancy test and get the results while we waited for dinner to start.
She disappeared for a few minutes and then came out grinning like a Cheshire cat. It was silly to take the test in such a public setting and just before we went out to dinner, but it was so fun to know our own secret all night. I kept trying to order dinner on Sally’s behalf - Baby Back Ribs, salad with baby greens, making sure the fresh vegetables included baby carrots. It was really fun… we’re just surprised our friends didn’t know something was up!
Sally and I had our first two children (ages 4 and 2) while we were in school, so we thought we could plan for the Krispy Kreme and fresh fruit cravings that had accompanied those pregnancies. When we had our second child, I was in school full-time and working more than full-time to make ends meet, so we didn’t get a lot of time together.
This time, as if the appearance of a little pink line weren’t exciting enough, we learned of our pregnancy only a week after our good friends in the neighborhood also realized their own good news. This was baby number three for both families and the two (smug) husbands thought we knew what to expect.
Since I work about 90 minutes from the house each way, I am usually out the door before the kids are awake and Sally would be on her own for the day. When the morning sickness started to settle in, we thought the doctor’s prescription would help us keep things under control. Unfortunately, none of the drugs could ease the nausea that developed into a 24 hour presence.
While I was able to make some (minor) adjustments to the commuting schedule so I could help in the morning with kids and straighten up the house at night, Sally couldn’t pause life for our two children. As she continued to get sick, Sally did her best to keep our two kids on their regular schedule and help them prepare for the arrival of their new sibling.
That’s when tragedy struck, twice. The first tragedy - Sally experienced some minor complications that caused us to worry for a few weeks. When we went to the doctor he was excellent at explaining what was causing the problem - there was a small tear - and candid that there was nothing to do but wait and see. Having a pregnant friend at the same stage, Sally was able to share the worry burden with an understanding friend and they worried together.
The second tragedy - just after entering the 2nd trimester, our friends went to their doctor for a routine exam, only to learn that the baby’s pulse was absent and they had lost their baby. While both families grappled with this loss, our friends were devastated and Sally struggled with the guilt caused by her continued pregnant status. They couldn’t worry together in the same way anymore.
Even though this experience ultimately made them even closer friends, it was an emotional challenge for both moms. We aren’t all the way to a happy ending yet, but our friends have recovered from the loss and are looking forward to trying again soon.
Sally has just this week made it past the nausea stage and is managing through the “exhausted awkward body stage” with the grace I fell in love with and a deeper gratitude for the life inside her. We’re glad we’ll get to share this little girl (we finally know!) with our friends.
It takes a little miracle for every baby to get here and this (not quite as smug now) husband knows that Sally’s experiences are not that different than most mothers.
The frustration of a changing body, the daily nausea, the exhaustion caused by building a new person inside a too-small space, the oversupply of hormones, the amplified emotions (joy and grief), and the challenge of meeting the needs of busy children who love their mom’s attention - those are common to virtually every pregnancy.
That’s why I wanted to let you know about Sally. She’s a fantastic and beautiful mom and wife who has managed to succeed through difficult working conditions.
Because she is extraordinary - just like every other mom - I hope she can share a little Pinks & Blues pampering with Angela Kinsey, one of the stars of our favorite show, and that every mom has someone who tells them they deserve the same kind of pampering.
On what winning the Baby Shower gift package would mean to her…
It will mean that she gets to enjoy the last few months of pregnancy to its fullest! We’re budgeting carefully now to make the best use of maternity clothes and hand-me-downs. After the discomfort she’s experienced with the first 20 or so weeks of this pregnancy, and the heartache of our close friends losing their baby, winning the baby shower will mean an opportunity to pamper herself without feeling like she’s stretching the budget to do so.
By pampering herself, I mean that she’ll be able to dress the baby out in new clothes, that our current baby paraphernalia can be updated, and she won’t have to worry about what it cost! Sally would like to update her maternity wardrobe, but is the kind of mom who doesn’t splurge on herself, so she doesn’t have a wardrobe that has “expanded” much even though our family is. I’d like very much for her to have a chance to be spoiled!
